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Here are all the food emoji available to iPhone owners. Steak, a shake, and two views of cake. Ice cream in both soft serve form and a bowl. A bell pepper for some reason. See what’s missing?

We’re not saying there shouldn’t be a weird meat cylinder with a giant bone sticking through the middle, or that there’s no important concept to be expressed by a green apple that couldn’t possibly be conveyed by a red apple. And yeah, all those people clamoring to use green bell peppers in a text.

What we are saying is that with 120+ food emoji, we certainly believe that if there’s room for flan, there’s definitely DEFINITELY room for a beautiful popsicle emoji.

Here’s the one that really hurts. Street food is great, nobody’s denying that, but what possible justification is there for TWO stick foods with weird shapes and colors but not one glorious ice pop? There’s even a swirly lollipop like the one in Kung Fu Hustle, which was a great film, fine—but how many people have ever had one of those lollipops? I’m going to say there are ten times as many people who’ve enjoyed a tasty popsicle than have ever tasted one of those swirly lollis. And I’m going to further speculate that everyone who has eaten a pop has had more than one, some many more than one, but that nine out of ten people who have eaten a giant swirly lollipop have eaten exactly one and never had a second one in their entire lives.

Who among our followers will be the first to launch a petition to the Unicode Emoji Subcommittee of the Unicode Technical Committee to lobby for the noble popsicle? This oversight must be corrected immediately. . . yesterday! Please address this petition to the woman who is, apparently, the world’s chief spokesperson on the subject of new emoji creation, Jennifer 8. Lee. In addition to wielding vast power in the realm of emoji creation, she has what is pretty clearly the best name in the world. If you visit her Wikipedia page, you’ll see that her parents gave her no middle name at birth, so when she was a teenager, she chose “8.” If someone this impossibly cool were to receive an online petition with, say, 200,000,000 names demanding a popsicle emoji, obviously she’d have the good judgment to follow through.

Let’s do this!

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